Two years....and counting

Yesterday was exactly two years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember it like it was yesterday. I wonder when and if that memory will fade.
These have, no doubt, been the worst two years of my life. Not so much because of the cancer, but because of all the other issues that arise when you face the Big C. The uncertainty, the lingering questions, the fear, the medical bills, the extra expenses, the hassles and aggravation, the way people look at you....it all takes its toll. It doesn't matter how strong you are, how much you fight, how much your survival instincts kick in, it still takes a toll. Things change; we learn to roll with the punches.
Every small change in your body, every little pain, draws your attention. You become so much more aware of your body, so much more aware of every slight change, every little pain. Each one must be checked out. Because you never know...
It's that fear, that uncertainty that will remain with me forever, I suppose.  I don't ever want to hear those words again. But if I do, I'll be better prepared this time. I'll know what questions to ask. I won't be dumbfounded. I'll be informed; I'll be ready. Now, I know what to expect.
Let's just hope and pray those expectations never come into play.